The Alcohol Consumption Show

​Small hands? Yes, but says he's "big where it matters,"
(By drinking so much wine he's expanded his bladder.)
Some come for the drink and others come for the chatter,
You're welcome if you're thin but even more if you're fatter.

His name is Long Neck Beck and if you're sober you'll cry,
But if you're wrecked enough he seems a heck of a guy.
He never crosses the line until you come on his show,
There's no television camera or broadcast, though.

Just a weird room at the back of his house, you know?
But for lots of alcoholics it's THE place to go.
'Cause each contestant on the show each gets their own segment,
They get drunk and have a great time 'til they wake up pregnant.